I am a working person. By progressing, I have now become a manager. It took me a lot of time to reach this point compared to many other colleagues. Many of my colleagues but also some juniors are much ahead of me. 16 years ago today, a friend of mine and I were candidates for promotion in the same seat. My colleague had a better record in the office than me, but I wanted to be promoted anyway. In this verse, Satan overpowered me and I came to the words of one of my acquaintances and met a man of low knowledge. This evil person assured that he will abuse my office mate to stop his promotion. I asked this person for this bad work and for this work I also gave him a big amount of money.
A few days later, that colleague of mine fell seriously ill. Due to illness, his vacations began to increase. Despite his better performance and better record than me, that colleague fell behind me in the promotion race due to “sudden illness”. I got promoted while colleague was sick for about six months.Illness also put financial strain on him. Later his performance was poor for a long time.It’s been 16 years since this incident. Some time ago, I had a very intense thought about this horrible act of my past. I now feel very remorseful for my heinous and evil act. Envious of a worthy man, I put thorns in his path for a little worldly gain. The person is now employed in another organization. Sometimes the news is received through an acquaintance. I want to tell one more important thing. About two years after this incident, after two daughters, a son was born to me. We were all very happy, but after a few months, we found out that the child is mentally weak. Today, the child is on the threshold of adulthood. but due to mental weakness, he is living the life of a disabled person. I think that this child’s disability is not a punishment for my sin. The anxiety and pain inside me is increasing day by day. I did him a lot of harm by getting angry and jealous and resorting to bad actions of my partner against him. I confess my mistakes and sins. And I seek forgiveness from Allah Almighty, I repent and seek forgiveness every day. But I don’t understand, what to do? He does not have the courage to go to the person and apologize.
REPLY TO LETTER
After a thousand mistakes, now your self has started to be overwhelmed by your conscience. Many reaction patterns are observed in this short life. Therefore, one thing is that if we see someone happy, we ourselves are also happy. If you see someone progressing and succeeding in the academic field, in practical life, than be jealous, say MashaAllah and pray for him more happiness and more progress.
One way is not to join someone’s happiness after seeing something. When you see success, say, “Hey, look, how is it bostwoing?” These conditions are those of a person who is reacting negatively to seeing others happy, who are also involved in the race and are left behind for some reason, many of them are even more so instead of evaluating their shortcomings impartially. Instead of trying, they take the success of others as an insult. Such people often lose their composure due to irritation and jealousy and sometimes resort to harmful measures to satisfy their negative emotions. If you are feeling regret, it is better to review some other mistakes of the past. In particular, all the immoral and illegal actions taken for the pursuit of material interests and wealth should be remembered and it should be thought that by hurting others by lying and backbiting and by putting obstacles in the way of others, one should not harm oneself. And the wealth earned for his children, did he get real prosperity and peace, or did he get temporary and artificial happiness in this world in exchange for the success of the Hereafter?
It is also a common observation that people who raise their children with haram and haram issues earned through oppression and exploitation. They often have to face punishment in this world. I am deeply saddened to learn that for your own worldly interests, you have made a sacrifice for your partner and tried to affect his health and career through a most despicable act. You have written to me and asked for my advice. I think the proper advice for you is to repent and seek forgiveness and go to your partner. Tell him all the facts and sincerely ask for his forgiveness. If this person forgives you, then you should not be disappointed by the mercy of Allah. A slight glimpse of the punishment for what you have done has made you feel deep inner anxiety and pain. Injuries from the inside of a person are much more painful than external injuries. May Allah protect us all from being overwhelmed by negative emotions and from the activities of Satan, and may harmful and destructive conditions such as envy arise in us. Amen,